2011-11-11 00029

One of many pies to be found at the time of the Pie Guild's reign.

The Pie Guild of Skyrim was an organisation created by the nord Jimhotep 'Arse Defender' Sturleng and the high elf Maximillion Schosemond to create and then defend pies in the realms of Tamriel. Soon after it's creation, Hjonottan Helms and Tara deLarge became key figures in the group, teaching the founders the numerous pie recipes they had learnt from their gallavants abroad.

It was thrown into turmoil after Jimhotep went searching alone into the wilderness on a drunken rampage, leaving only a note that read "BASTARD TROLLS STOP GOT CHEESE STOP". His body was never found but legend says that the famous inscription of "Spunk Pie" upon the Thoat of the World was written by him in his final moments. The guild quickly regained control over Skyrim once again, defeating the Guild of Men of Pasties in a short skirmish outside Windhelm and decrying that all pastry based foodstuffs fell under the Guild's control.

The Guild was sadly disbanded after a devastating schism, brought about by a dispute of the gospel of Jimhotep as to whether Cottage Pie fell under the holy doctrine or not. The damage to the Guild's reputation that it had no choice but close it's doors, ending it's control of the majority of the areas in and around Skyrim. The College of Majicka at Winterhold remains the only place a Pie Guild exists, with it's motto "Happines Is Pukka Squared".