Murderous Techno-Snail Hybrids
Podtoid episode 229
Release date 28 November, 2012
Running time 100 minutes
Featuring Jim Sterling
Jonathan Holmes
Conrad Zimmerman
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Batman is Covered in Feces and Urine

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Captain Crack Cocaine

Podtoid 229: Murderous Techno-Snail Hybrids is a New Podtoid episode released on 2012-11-29.

The episode was hosted by Jim Sterling, Jonathan Holmes and Conrad Zimmerman.

Official DescriptionEdit

On a spirited edition of Podtoid, the gang details how David Bowie now lives inside Jonathan Holmes' hoarded anus, the mystery of the Black Dahlia murder is solved, and perhaps the most twisted GameCube commercial idea ever is presented to an unwitting world. Elsewhere, Willem Dafoe stars in a brand new film, Blue Eyes In Your Brown Eye.  As if that wasn't enough, we talk about how the game community can stand to be less abusive, how fans could stand to not be so selfish, and how Sony's arrogance is its undoing. We also check in with the Rabbids Land Miiverse community, as well as look at how the Wii and Xbox 360 succeeded in opposite ways. All this and more is ON THE PODTOID! (Link to Dtoid Post)

Episode SummaryEdit

The episode starts off with Jim being racist (But Jim is not Racist). Holmes and Jim discuss the people that are shipping them as a couple and Jim reveals that he's been reading on TV Tropes. The trio spend some time talking about people and animals living and dying inside Holmes' anus. Jim proceeds to sing music from Labyrinth and informs Holmes that he wishes to wanted his Man's Labyrinth because he's the Dream Merchant.

Holmes remembers that he used to know a guy that reminds him of Jim called Jeff. Jeff used to talk about anuses and Elton John, prompting Holmes into song. Jeff later went weird and called up Holmes on an episode of Bit Transmission where he was crying and talking about thinking he had killed a guy which he then forgot a day later. Later on Jeff went even weirder and began suspecting Holmes of being a murder.

Speaking of old friends makes Jim realize he knows both a Holmes and a Moriarty, and decides it's time for Holmes to become a detective. He offers him to solve the Black Dahlia case by having him go on stage in Boston in front of the Mayor of Boston, Val Kilmer, Matlock, Basil Mouse, Danger Mouse, Inspector Clouseau, Peter Gabriel and various other detectives. and just perform a bunch of half-assed freestyle gymnastics. He pins the Black Dahlia case on Steve Bucemi to which Conrad agrees that even if he's innocent to the Black Dahlia case, he probably killed someone else.

The episode goes into deep discussion as they talk about the #OneReasonWhy movement regarding women in the videogame industry. Holmes runs off mid-episode to stop a hissing in his background either cause by a stove or baby dragons flying around the roof of Holmes' house in Boston. The discussion goes into fanboyism and the similarity of Xbox Live's structure compared to cults. They talk about how the PS Vita did not sell well even though there were great Black Friday deals for it. Finally the discussion goes into Willem Dafoe territory with the trio talking about how great the Dafoeverse is.

Holmes starts talking Gamecube Commercials, this one starring snails and Artimus Hawkings. The snails get eaten by Artimus, but one snail survives and starts ranting about how horrible his life is. The snail gets yelled at by slugs talking about their gamerscores and Call of Duty. Then a Gamecube falls down from the sky and crushes the snail. Out of nowhere comes J D Roff talking about the Gamecube he tells kids that they should kill snails. The Gamecube then turns into a weird Murderous Techno-Snail Hybrid that kills J D Roff. Jim and Conrad are stunned.

Jim goes into full on Willem Dafoe Movie Pitch mode and talks about "Blue Eyes in Your Brown Eye". The movie where Brendan Fraser plays a defense attorney who defends the wrong people only to find that Willem Dafoe is haunting his anus. The movie also stars Debra Messing and Al Pacino. Holmes points out that it's scary that Dafoe can talk out of Fraser's anus when he doesn't have a mouth but that he would totally watch the movie. Jim dubs it the next Human Centipede and that Tom Six should direct it..

The trio answers some questions, including one from Patric Dag where he asks if the hosts would save Willem Dafoe or Batman if they had a choice. The trio agrees on Dafoe and that Dafoe should play Killer Croc or Two-Face in a Batman movie. They answer some more questions and close of the show talking about what they're all doing this week.

Related PagesEdit


  • The idea to enrich Holmes' life this week was "Jonathan Holmes: The Greatest Mouse Detective".
  • Holmes mother did not name her son after a Porno Star.
  • Conrad does not have a favourite gender.
  • Holmes says that Jim sings "Never Believe it's Not So" by Pilot, but he's wrong. The song is actually named "Oh Ho Ho It's Magic".
  • Artimus Hawkings is the host of an unreleased show called Art Hawk by Jonathan Holmes and Tobbii Karlsson.